my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
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