she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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