I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
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What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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