I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
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I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
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First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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