so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
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You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
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Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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