How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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