There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
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Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
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