Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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