im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
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my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
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My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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