I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Pappa wants mamma naked
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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