i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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