did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
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I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
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He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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