it wasn't lemon gatorade
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
this is an emotional support booty call
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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