I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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