My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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