Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize