I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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