she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize