I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
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