Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize