Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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