So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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