just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
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The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
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Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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