It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize