dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
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I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
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She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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