More tranny stories later!
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
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I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
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I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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