Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
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Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
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Why are your pants in the freezer?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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