I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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