I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I pour the whiskey from now on
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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