i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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