I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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