I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
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