Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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