did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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