did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
The ass gains better be worth it
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