You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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