I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize