So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize