We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
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Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
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I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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