she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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