I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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