gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize