why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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