like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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