Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
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and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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