so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize