he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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