her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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