let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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