Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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